


15 Ways to Annoy Iwa-chan

by volleyball_crow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleyball_crow/pseuds/volleyball_crow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A thorough study in the most effective methods of reaching the highest level of annoyance. This study is in no way supported by the Aoba Johsai volleyball team. It is not advisable to try this at home. Please be careful with your Iwa-chan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	15 Ways to Annoy Iwa-chan

**#1:** The flirty voice. He _hates_ the flirty voice.

**#2:** "Iwa-chan! Are you growing shorter? I think you're smaller than last month..."

**#3:** Arrange for the presence of a huge group of Oikawa fangirls at a match/practice. Give them glittery posters.

**#4:** Better yet: find some Iwaizumi fangirls. Give them REALLY glittery posters. Make sure to include some marriage proposals on them. Freak him out _good_.

**#5:** After that, make constant comments about how much of a playboy he is. Pretend to be appalled at his player ways. Completely ignore his enraged screeching.

**#6:** Poke his cheek at random times throughout the day. He'll ask you to stop. Do not stop.

**#7:** Poke his shoulder at random times throughout the day. If he asks why you keep poking him, make up a really convoluted and completely unrelated excuse.

**#8:** Derail every single conversation he tries to have with you by repeating, "noooooo! seriously?? That's awesome, Iwa-chan!" every time he finishes a sentence.

**#9:** Discretely feel up his arms, subtly enough that he'd feel weird calling you out on it in case he's imagining it. If you can add a little blush for effect, that's _perfect_.

**#10:** Call him "mother" every time he tries to act responsible. Call him "mother" when he's actually mothering someone. In fact, just call him "mother". Bonus points if you get the rest of the team to adopt that as their nickname for him.

**#11:** Set your phone's volume to the highest setting and play [_SexyBack_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gOHvDP_vCs) every time he walks into a room.

**#12:** Write an epic poem about him. Recite it at every available opportunity.

**#13:** Sigh at him like you're in love every time he's got his back turned to you. He'll ask you to stop. Do not stop.

**#14:** (related to #13) He'll probably get really fed up with it really quickly and explode at you. Take this opportunity to make a scene, cry about your rejected love, make it as soap-opera-like as you can. Make it an Oscar worthy performance. This is your time to shine.

**#15:** Giggle quietly to yourself like you can't help it every time you talk to him. See how long it takes him to crack.

**Author's Note:**

> Posting things on Tumblr means they'll eventually disappear, buried under a bunch of your newer stuff, so I decided to save [this](http://volleyball-anime-is-hilarious.tumblr.com/post/113526496273/15-ways-to-annoy-iwa-chan) here. Unexpectedly, it got a bunch of notes. Thank you. *bows*
> 
> There were a lot of comments on Tumblr about how this seemed written by Oikawa. I'm flattered. Funny thing, though: I didn't really write it with that intent. Somehow it just came out with this tone, which now that I look at it, _is_ kinda Oikawa-like. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
